(Deep breath)
I avoid doing a lot of things because they are (or at least feel) inconvenient. That’s a difficult thing to admit.
Like what, you ask? Oh, I have plenty.
I avoid taking my children basically anywhere by myself because it is…what? Yep. Inconvenient. This includes taking or picking up my oldest from school, going to any kind of store, the doctor’s office and soccer practice.
I think I avoid it not just because it feels like an inconvenience, but I also don’t feel confident in my abilities to do it. I get overwhelmed and stressed out easily…which is another post all in itself. On top of that, I feel like I am inconveniencing others when I haul myself and three kids into the doctor’s office when just one of them has an appointment.
Sure, I have done it before and all went well. I don’t think I have had any type of major madness occur when I have taken them some place. But still, I avoid it. It’s plain difficult and I often feel like I don’t have the strength.
I am blessed to have an amazing mother who will watch my children while I go to the doctor or to a meeting…or sometimes she even watches them just because. My dad often takes my daughter to school in the morning and picks her up in the afternoon, which is about a 20 minute drive one way.
I am not a fan of paint or playdo or glitter projects. These all equate mess in my mind and my home is a mess without a one-year-old snatching a loaded paint brush or a still-wet piece of construction paper decorated with glitter glue.
When our middle daughter was younger she would completely lose it, crying and screaming, when we told her it was time to come inside. So what did I do? Stopped letting her go outside because getting her to come in was a huge chore. (She grew out of that eventually).
Now, our three kids love digging in a dirt patch we have outside. But do you know how messy three kids playing in the dirt can get? And it seems 10 times messier when my husband isn’t here to help me clean it all up.
Terrible, I know. I really don’t like that I feel this way. I wish I was a more go-with-the-flow kind of gal. I think I use to be…once upon a time.
The Merriam-Webster dictionary says that inconvenient means: not convenient especially in giving trouble or annoyance. Other definitions include: not suited to one’s comfort, purpose or needs; and troublesome, awkward, or difficult.
I guess it comes down to feeling like I just can’t do these things on my own. And what I often forget is that I am never alone in the things that I do. I am never alone in my efforts and my struggles.
Which brings me to the verse I am memorizing for the month of April:
Joshua 1:9 NIV
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
